Hello

My Story

My name is D. Apologies for the obfuscation, but this blog is meant to delve into many topics that are taboo, so some level on anonymity is required. First, a little bit about myself. I am a 41 year old Asian American man. I identify as gay, have a husband, and a growing family. I'm fairly athletic, decent looking, and have a PhD. My pronouns currently are He/Him, though deep down I strive for 'It' to be added to the list. I am fairly successful with a career leading groups in a high stakes environment. For all intents and purposes I am living the American dream.

The thing about me, however, is that for over 25 years, I've felt that there was a part of me that I could never name and could never indulge in. Recently, thanks to my Master, I discovered what this was - being and owned slave. Now, I've known I was submissive from a very young age, approximately 10 years old, even before I even knew that I was gay. Some girls would pretend I was their dog where play veered more towards domination and chastisement rather than anything cutesy. I forget if they actually put a collar and leash on me or if I just wishfully imagined it. Regardless, I didn't fight those games or find them insulting. Instead, I welcomed them. I never really thought more about that in the intervening years. I had a messy enough time figuring out my sexuality. When I was 16 I remember tying my hands together with a belt, my first attempt at self bondage, which unfortunately happened minutes before my grandfather came to bring me to church. I pretended that I was sleeping under the sheets because I couldn't untie myself. Once in a while I'd try on a collar or two very surreptitiously, or have more dominant men fuck me. The internet was new so figuring out all the different intricacies of sexuality and kinks was quite difficult, especially for an introverted submissive like myself.

Things started to change in my late twenties when I had the wherewithal and confidence to branch out. While I had already been dating the man who is currently my husband (he is extremely vanilla and to this day doesn't know or want to know the submissive and kinkier side of me), I started to use Recon to find and explore BDSM. Over the intervening years I'd occasionally indulge in sessions that would satisfy any built up urges temporarily. Through these sessions I would discover more about myself, about what scratched the itch that could never be fully resolved, and i never knew why that was the case. It was as if every kink I tested out, whether it be leather, rubber, sports gear, flogging, nipple play, anal play, pain play, electro, hypnosis, shibari, etc. was just window dressing on what really I was reacting to, namely submission. Little did I know that the levels to which I need to submit go so far and are so complete that it would in essence be slavery. Recently I became an owned slave, and I've never been more excited and grateful for this next chapter in my life.